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Luke 1-2 – How To Be A Godly Parent – The Example of Mary
I love being a parent. No matter how dirty my truck gets, I can always blame it on the kids! But “scapegoating” our kids is not being a good parent…unfortunately!
Do you ever think of how your parents raised you when dealing with your own children? I know of a woman who whenever presented with a difficult situation with her daughter, would ask herself, “What would my mother do.” And then she did the opposite. Not surprisingly, as a grown woman had a horrible relationship with her mother, but a great bond with her daughter. This mother was wise enough to realize the mistakes her mother made and decided not to repeat the past. This is harder than it sounds, for often parents raise their children just like they were raised. That is only a good idea if we had godly parents.
- Do we ever look at other parents and wish we were like them?
- Do we ever look at other parents and get annoyed because they are better than us?
The dichotomy of good, godly parenting is that knowing what to do as a good parent is easy. Doing what we know is difficult. When I say that knowing what to do as a good parent is easy, I do not mean that there are never any tough decisions to make. I do not mean that we always know the right thing to do. What I mean is that the principles of good parents are easy to know.
If you had to choose someone to raise your children for you, who would you choose?
- Some of us have probably been approached by parents asking us if, in the event of their demise, we would be willing to take custody of their children.
- Some of us have possibly even been approached by parents asking us, to help prevent the death of our sanity by taking their children NOW!
- Some of us have probably decided no one is good enough to raise our children so we are never dying!
- Would our children choose us if they had a choice?
This reminds me of a story where a mother of three notorious children was asked if she had it all to do over again, would she still have children. She said, yes, just not the same ones!
Seriously, creating a will and assigning someone the awesome task and privilege of raising our children is a daunting task – so much so that many of us never manage to do it.
And people remember, when you pick a husband or wife, you are also picking a father or mother to your children. Choose wisely. Just because we fall in love with someone does not mean they will make a good spouse or a good parent.
While admittedly not the same in every aspect, God chose someone to take care of His Son, Jesus – Mary and Joseph. Now I know it is not a perfect comparison, after all, Jesus was a perfect Son. And only Jesus’ parents and my parents had a perfect son! By the way, my daughter Ashley agreed that my parents had a perfect son – my brother!
- Luke 1:30-31 HCSB Then the angel told her: Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. (31) Now listen: You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will call His name JESUS.
- Luke 1:42-43 HCSB Then she exclaimed with a loud cry: You are the most blessed of women, and your child will be blessed! (43) How could this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
What an awesome task and privilege. So we will ask these questions:
- What was so special about Mary? [Unfortunately, people usually go to an extreme when talking about Mary (Catholic [worship her] and Protestant [ignore her])]
- What made her a good parent?
- Would and could God have chosen us?
We are studying Mary, who showed us a good example of how to be a godly parent.
I. A PREPARED PARENT
Have you ever noticed that everybody is a much better parent before they have children!? Then when we have them, we regret there are no instructions tagged to their toe when they enter into this world.
Before Janet and I had children, I remember seeing parents sitting with their children in between them. I thought that was inadvisable and that sitting next to my wife would help keep our own relationship stronger. Then I had children… and realized the reason one parent sits on one end of the pew and the other parent on the other end is to keep the children from escaping! Our perspective can change once we have children.
When I say Mary was “a prepared parent” I am not saying what prepared her was previous experience as a parent, but rather before she became a parent, she had prepared herself as a good “person.” So we can see, this sermon is not just for parents – it’s for everyone because everyone needs to prepare themselves for whatever God brings their way.
- We can’t be good parents if we are not good people.
- We can’t love our children as ourselves if we don’t love ourselves.
- The loving and caring of a mother and father needs to start before our children are ever born.
- Parents, are we now preparing our children to be good parents?
While what I am about to say might be true of both men and women, it seems more prevalent among men – that too many wait to grow up until after they have children. Now let me define “grow up.” I do not mean that we should loose our sense of fun; but rather being grown up means accepting responsibility. I would like to suggest that many who wait to become responsible after they have children will usually fail and their families will pay the price.
Luke 1:30-31 Present (Past) Tense – [30] The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; for you have found favor with God. Future Tense – [31] “And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name Him Jesus.
The point is Mary found favor with God before God chose her. Mary prepared herself to be a good parent by being a good person – have we?
II. A WILLING PARENT
Luke 1:38 HCSB “I am the Lord’s slave,” said Mary. “May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel left her.
Some parents are unwilling or unhappy parents: either they were not planning on having children, or wished they never did.
Out-of-Wedlock Pregnancies (including teen pregnancies).
This is an excellent reason why people should wait until they are married to have children. A then-common word used to describe Mary is unfortunately now almost a by-word or insult: “Virgin” (Lk.1:27,34). “Current trends indicate that by the year 2015 one of every two American babies will be born to a single mother, and illegitimacy will surpass divorce as the main cause of fatherlessness.” (Jennifer Marshall, Sanctioning Illegitimacy: Our National Character is at Stake). Teenagers account for 30 percent of non-marital births. Women over 20 make up 35 percent of out of wedlock births. (Child Trends, New Report Explains Explosion in Out-of-Wedlock Childbearing)
Abortion [Do you know what would solve the abortion problem…If everyone who believes in abortion had been aborted by their parents!]
Worldwide, there is an abortion about every…second. In the USA, there is an abortion about every…20-25 seconds. I got these figures by watching a very sobering website – www.silentscream.org. They have a counter on their home page. I just watched as the counter ticked each abortion counting the seconds.
- PREBORN – 11 WEEKS AFTER CONCEPTION. Sensitive to heat, touch, light and noise
- Sucks thumb
- All body systems work
- About 1 oz. & is 2 1/2 to 3 inches long
- Fits in palm
- Heart is beating (since 18-25 days)
- Brain waves recorded at 40 days
- Swallows, and can make a fist
- Fingerprints and can kick
- NONE OF THIS IS NEEDED IF WE UNDERSTAND THAT ALL ARE MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD!
Deadbeat Dads & Deadbeat Moms [whether financially or physically]
80% of teen fathers are not involved in the lives of their children. (National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy) (www.deadbeatlocators.com). In doing research on “Deadbeat Dads,” I noticed they had their protectors and defenders too. One common “excuse” was that they simply did not have the money to support two families. What’s amazing to me is that anybody thought that they could! If any of you think you have enough money to support two families – I know a few families you can adopt! Supporting one family is difficult enough. So if you know of anyone who is thinking of leaving their wife, give them this advice that a divorced man gave me – “It’s cheaper to keep her.”
Part-time Parents [this is where a child takes second place against their parents “first love” (profession, hobby, laziness, whatever.)]
Do our children know how happy and proud we are that they are our children? Hey kids, are you living the type of life to make your parents happy and proud? Mary was willing to be a parent – are we?
III. AN UNSELFISH PARENT
Luke 1:56 HCSB And Mary stayed with her about three months; then she returned to her home.
I am going to make an assumption, inference or interpretation here – that Mary stayed with Elizabeth in order to help her. If I am correct in this, Mary shows a personality trait that all need to have and I am sure Jesus saw Mary helping others as He grew up. She was thoughtful and unselfish.
Do our children see us as being unselfish? Are we unselfish with them? Are we unselfish with others? How do we show we are unselfish? By giving of ourselves, our time, and our money. Do our children see us and share with us workdays at the church building, hospitality, visitation, etc. Do they see us sharing our homes, our cars, our tools, our abilities, our talents, etc.
Mary was unselfish – Can we be a good parent if we are selfish?
IV. A SPIRITUAL PARENT
Luke 1:30 HCSB Then the angel told her: Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.
Luke 1:38 HCSB “I am the Lord’s slave,” said Mary. “May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel left her.
Luke 1:46-49 HCSB And Mary said: My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, (47) and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior, (48) because He has looked with favor on the humble condition of His slave. Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed, (49) because the Mighty One has done great things for me, and His name is holy.
Questions – What kind of spiritual life do we have? What kind of spiritual life do our children see us having? Do we often talk with them about our blessings? Do they see us praying? Do they hear us asking them to pray for our weaknesses?
Mary considered herself as belonging to God. Do you think this affected the decisions she made? Do We?
V. A TEACHING/WORSHIPPING PARENT
What do I mean by “teaching/worshipping” parent? Whenever we are teaching our children about God we are worshipping. Whenever we are worshipping God we are teaching our children by words and by example. Mary practiced her religion and involved her Son in the practice. And Mary considered her Son as belonging to God.
Luke 2:21-24 HCSB When the eight days were completed for His circumcision, He was named JESUS–the name given by the angel before He was conceived. (22) And when the days of their purification according to the law of Moses were finished, they brought Him up to Jerusalem to present Him to the Lord (23) (just as it is written in the law of the Lord: Every firstborn male will be dedicated to the Lord) (24) and to offer a sacrifice (according to what is stated in the law of the Lord: a pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons).
Dedicating our children to the Lord does not take infant baptism or a Dedication service. But it does take an attitude on the part of the parents. Are children are God’s children. We all need to pray, and have our children hear us pray, “Dear God, help me to raise my children to be your children.” If we consider our children as belonging to the Lord:
- Will that affect how we raise them?
- Will that affect how we view them?
- Will that affect how we view our responsibilities?
- Will that affect our teaching them?
Luke 2:39-42 HCSB When they had completed everything according to the law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee, to their own town of Nazareth. (40) The boy grew up and became strong, filled with wisdom, and God’s grace was on Him. (41) Every year His parents traveled to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival. (42) When He was 12 years old, they went up according to the custom of the festival.
Here are some stats about taking children to church (2001) [Barna Research]
- Adults who attended church regularly as a child are nearly three times as likely to be attending a church today as are their peers who avoided the church during childhood (61% to 22%, respectively).
- Roughly seven out of ten Americans adults (71%) had a period of time during their childhood when they regularly attended a Christian church.
- Just less than two out of three adults (63%) who were “churched” as children take their own children to a church, which is double the proportion among adults who were not “churched” and who now take their kids to church (33%).
- Adults who attended church as a child are twice as likely as others to read the Bible during a typical week; twice as likely to attend a church worship service in a typical week; and nearly 50% more likely to pray to God during a typical week.
One of the most beautiful sounds in a congregation is a baby crying. That means the parent brought them to church. To help with young children, here are some Suggestions For In The Assembly (Adapted from Calm or Chaos by Ruth Hale)
1. 0-2 yrs sit near back. 2+ yrs sit near the front of the auditorium, next to aisle.
2. Expect your child to sit quietly.
3. Do not pass children from pew to pew during worship service.
4. Be certain that your child uses the washroom and gets a drink before worship begins.
5. Talk to the child about being quiet before services begin.
6. Use hand signals. A parent’s correction is often more disturbing than the child’s behavior.
7. Attend every service, gospel meetings, ladies classes & use as opportunities to train your child. [our last gospel meeting with Berry Kercheville stressed the importance of using training sessions at home to prepare our children for going out in public]
8. It may be helpful to give a child a soft toy (i.e. cloth rubber or plastic toy – & silent – PDH) to occupy him.
9. Learn to overlook small annoyances.
10. Make trips out unpleasant [and short – PDH] enough that they will be few and far between.
11. Do not leave your child in the care of other children.
12. Avoid allowing the child to become excited immediately before worship.
13. Be an example. Don’t “visit” with those sitting near you during worship.
14. Do not allow your child to play on the floor of the auditorium.
15. Criticism will come whether or not you discipline your child. Do what has to be done.
16. Don’t make excuses for your child or yourself.
“Should I make my child go to church? If I do, won’t they hate it and refuse to go when they grow up?” Parents sometimes face this dilemma, especially parents of teenagers. If that situation already exists, there is already a problem—but the problem is not that the child doesn’t want to go to church! That is but a symptom. Maybe we parents are actually part of the problem.
Let’s return to the query and debunk it: “If I let my child stay home/go out with friends/work a job/etc., instead of going to church, will that make them want to go when they grow up?” No. So if my goal is to build a lifelong desire within them, letting them absent themselves is a faulty methodology. There must be a better way.
If our child wants to skip school, do we let them? Are we afraid that if we make them do their homework, they will grow up to be a bum because they will hate studying? If our child doesn’t want to go see the dentist, do we let their teeth rot? Parents, are we willing to fight for the good of our children, even if it means fighting our children? Let’s hope so, but again there must be a better way. Our hope is they will desire spiritual things. That is the better way!
Paul wrote in Roman 8:5, For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.
Wanting our children to set their minds on things of the Spirit means we parents must first be their example. How?
Don’t Be a Hypocrite: Don’t complain about attending and then complain about our children not wanting to go! Even in our language we can teach attitude – “Get ready we have to go to church!”
Don’t Complain: If we grumble about the boring class, awful song leading, and lackluster sermon, does that encourage our children to come?
Don’t Gossip: If our children hear gossiping about the hypocrites, and unfriendly people, or how so-and-so sure wore an ugly dress, what will they think about people at church?
Don’t Look For Excuses: When family visits, do we stay home? Do we choose to work on Sunday or Wednesday? Will that encourage my children to want to go to church?
Do What You Hear: If faith comes from hearing, do our children see us benefiting from coming to church? Do they see us becoming better parents, better spouses, and better believers? Do they see us applying God’s word to our lives? Are we parents different because we go to church?
Do Encourage: Encourage them to apply what they hear. Do we encourage them to do their Bible lessons, even to the point of helping them? Or do they see us emphasizing their school work more so than their Bible lessons? Do they see us encouraging others to the point that they hear others expressing their gratitude?
Do Get Involved: The more involved we are as a family, the more our children create relationships within the church. Who are our kids’ best friends? Who are ours? Make hospitality part of our lives.
Do Spiritualize Our Lives: If as a family we talk about our prayers, and how God blesses us; if we praise others spiritually, our children we see the benefit of a spiritual life.
There are no guarantees the above will “make our children like church.” But then again, that is not what we are striving to do. We are working towards setting their minds – and ours – on things of the Spirit. But there is one guarantee—letting them stay home will not either create a spiritual hunger and desire. Which way is the better way?
I love the following illustration: I had a drug problem….
I had a drug problem when I was young.
I was drug to church on Sunday morning.
I was drug to church for wedding and funerals.
I was drug to family reunions no matter the weather.
I was drug to the bus stop to go to school every weekday.
I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults and teachers.
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents.
Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in every thing I do, say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin, and if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, America might be a better place.
Signed,
Old timer
Mary taught and practiced her religious beliefs to and with Jesus. Are we?
VI. A HONEST PARENT
Luke 2:48 HCSB When His parents saw Him, they were astonished, and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for You.”
Here’s an interesting Observation. Mary does not simply say, “What you did was not good.” Mary shows how Jesus’ actions affected others. Showing that we are connected to others, and affect others, if an important life lesson.
Now we realize that when Mary chastised Jesus, He had not done anything sinful. But what I do want all of us to notice is that Mary expressed her true honest feelings with Jesus.
I would like to suggest to you a politically incorrect method of child-rearing – honesty. If I children do well, we praise them. Everybody likes to hear praise. If they do not do well – tell them they messed up. Don’t make excuses for them. Don’t allow them to make excuses either. Don’t blame others. Why is it so often today that when a child misbehaves in school the parents blame the teacher? “Children need two pats on the back. One high enough to encourage them when they do right; and one low enough to discourage them when they do wrong. Effective discipline requires knowing which end of the child to pat.”
I am a politically incorrect parent. Unfortunately there are too many Biblically Incorrect Parents. Let’s look at three examples ob Biblically Incorrect Parenting.
First, some people, educators and parents, are so concerned that their children have good self-esteem that they are raising children to feel good about their own stupidity!
Second, today too many parents are raising “stars” instead of children. “The Little Star Family” – “You are simply the world’s greatest, and all of life revolves around you. I will promote you with all the energy and resources I have. You can do no wrong.” (Ken Wackes, Building My Marriage Before It Begins, p.38)
And third, today too many people “joke” that their children are the boss of the house. But it is not a joke.
Mary was honest with Jesus. Are we honest with our children?
VII. AN INTERESTED PARENT
Luke 1:29 HCSB But she was deeply troubled by this statement, wondering what kind of greeting this could be.
Luke 2:19 HCSB But Mary was treasuring up all these things in her heart and meditating on them.
Luke 2:51 HCSB Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth and was obedient to them. His mother kept all these things in her heart.
Let’s do a word study.
- Wonder (HCSB); Ponder (NASB) (1260) – Lk.1:29 – to reckon thoroughly, i.e. (genitive case) to deliberate (by reflection or discussion):–cast in mind, consider, dispute, muse, reason, think.
- Meditate (HCSB); Ponder (NASB) (4820) – Lk.2:19 – to combine, i.e. (in speaking) to converse, consult, dispute, (mentally) to consider, (by implication) to aid, (personally) to join, attack:–confer, encounter, help, make, meet with, ponder.
- Treasure (HCSB; NASB) (4933) – Lk.2:19 – to keep closely together, i.e. (by implication) to conserve (from ruin); mentally, to remember (and obey):–keep, observe, preserve
- Kept (HCSB); Treasure (NASB) (1301) – Lk.2:51 – to watch thoroughly, i.e. (positively and transitively) to observe strictly, or (negatively and reflexively) to avoid wholly:–keep.
I suggest for your wondering, pondering, mediating and for your treasuring, that Mary knew God would perform exactly what He promised, but she did not know how wonderful it would be. To support this, let’s also examine Luke 2:25-33.
Luke 2:25-33 HCSB There was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon. This man was righteous and devout, looking forward to Israel’s consolation, and the Holy Spirit was on him. (26) It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he saw the Lord’s Messiah. (27) Guided by the Spirit, he entered the temple complex. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to perform for Him what was customary under the law, (28) Simeon took Him up in his arms, praised God, and said: (29) Now, Master, You can dismiss Your slave in peace, according to Your word. (30) For my eyes have seen Your salvation. (31) You have prepared it in the presence of all peoples– (32) a light for revelation to the Gentiles and glory to Your people Israel. (33) His father and mother were amazed at what was being said about Him.
There is a spiritual song called, Mary, Did You Know? The lyrics are by Mark Lowry, and the music by Buddy Greene. IT has been sung by various artists.
Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you’ve delivered will soon deliver you.
Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will calm a storm with His hand?
Did you know
that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby you’ve kissed the face of God.
The blind will see
The deaf will hear
The dead will live again
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb
Mary, did you know
that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know
that your baby boy is heaven’s perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you’re holding is the Great I Am.
How does this relate to us? Just as Mary showed interest in the possibilities of her Son, we all should ponder the possibilities of our own children – and then get involved. What are their dreams, desires, talents, goals, wishes, etc? Do we know? Do we care? Are we interested in what the child is interested in? Do we try to live our lives through our children? And maybe the most important of all, are we interested in how our children can serve God?
How do we show our interest?
- Listening to others.
- Listening to our children.
- Talking with our children.
- Spending time with our children
- Spend time wisely we never get it back!
- Being There for their activities, games, awards, etc.
Are we interested and involved in their lives? Here is a simple illustration: “Parent Advisory Councils are an integral part of all schools in the Red Wing School District. We encourage and invite any interested parent or guardian to become involved.” How often are parents not involved in something as simple as their children’s education, or watching them play sports, or taking them to art class? I can guarantee you, that when children are performing, whether in a concert, or an award ceremony, or a sporting event, they look to see if we their parents are in the audience.
Mary was interested in her Child. Are we?
VIII. A SUFFERING PARENT
Luke 2:34-35 HCSB Then Simeon blessed them and told His mother Mary: “Indeed, this child is destined to cause the fall and rise of many in Israel and to be a sign that will be opposed– (35) and a sword will pierce your own soul–that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”
Why do parents suffer so much? Because we love so much. Because we can’t protect our children against everything (it would be a mistake to try). Because we have to discipline our children
Here is a quick list of the causes of parental suffering:
- Consequential Suffering – When our children rightfully reap what they have wrongfully sowed, it usually – if not always – hurts the parents more than the child.
- Correctional Suffering – The difference between this and consequential suffering is that the first type of suffering is produced either naturally or by others such as the police or principals. When we correct our children, it hurts.
- Sacrificial Suffering – Every good parent sacrifices for their child.
- Physical Suffering – Illnesses, shots (remember the look of betrayal?)
- Emotional Suffering – When they endure heartaches, friend’s betrayals, taunting, and such, we parents suffer with our children.
Mary loved enough to hurt. Do we?
We asked in the beginning what made Mary such a great parent. I hope we have answered that question. We also asked if God would choose us to raise His Son. That is a question we have to answer every day we raise our own children.
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