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Job 31:1,9-12 – Flirting While Married
Read the following advice:
“A relationship usually means you’re exclusive to one person, giving your heart and soul to your mate, at least within reason. We’re supposed to feel strongly about that person — and that person only.
“But does the world stop turning because you’re hitched? I don’t believe so. The “Pretty Women” production plant doesn’t cease operation just because you decide to settle down. A man or a woman in love can still find other people sexy. And just like a kid who’s not supposed to eat candy before supper, they may enjoy extracurricular sightseeing all the more because it’s forbidden.
“Do you remember the Levi’s commercial that featured a young man and woman getting into an elevator and feeling an instantaneous physical attraction for one another? What happens in the following 30 seconds? The guy imagines life with the woman: having sex, falling in love, getting married, having children, and growing old together. The mere thought of it is enough to turn him off.
“When a man has sexual thoughts about another woman, be it Elizabeth Hurley or that cute teller from the bank, he usually thrives only on the possibility and challenge of it all. He likes the idea of getting to third base with her, but not necessarily going through with it.
“So, guys, if you see a sexy woman wearing a floral summer dress and high-heeled sandals, … take it for what it’s worth and enjoy the view. As long as it stays at that level, no harm done. Remember the “look, don’t touch” code of ethics.
Yes, read the above advice, but if we listen to this advice, we will sin and endanger our marriage and our soul. The above advice is from a website called, “askmen.com.”
May I suggest instead we listen to advice from a source that I shall fictitiously call, AskJesus.com? What does Jesus think about flirting? 28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28). Since flirting starts with lusting, and lusting is wrong, then flirting is wrong.
Likewise, when suffering and tested, Job in defending his righteousness made the following observation: [1] “I have made a covenant with my eyes; How then could I gaze at a virgin? [9] “If my heart has been enticed by a woman, Or I have lurked at my neighbor’s doorway, [10] May my wife grind for another, And let others kneel down over her. [11] “For that would be a lustful crime; Moreover, it would be an iniquity punishable by judges. [12] “For it would be fire that consumes to Abaddon, And would uproot all my increase (Job 31:1, 9-12).
Here’s some advice a wise father gave to his son:
…Pay close attention to this, my wisdom; listen very closely to the way I see it.
Then you’ll acquire a taste for good sense; what I tell you will keep you out of trouble. The lips of a seductive woman are oh so sweet, her soft words are oh so smooth. But it won’t be long before she’s gravel in your mouth, a pain in your gut, a wound in your heart. She’s dancing down the primrose path to Death; she’s headed straight for Hell and taking you with her. She hasn’t a clue about Real Life, about who she is or where she’s going. So…listen closely; don’t treat my words casually. Keep your distance from such a woman; absolutely stay out of her neighborhood. You don’t want to squander your wonderful life, to waste your precious life among the hardhearted. Why should you allow strangers to take advantage of you? Why be exploited by those who care nothing for you? You don’t want to end your life full of regrets, nothing but sin and bones, Saying, “Oh, why didn’t I do what they told me? Why did I reject a disciplined life? Why didn’t I listen to my mentors, or take my teachers seriously? My life is ruined! I haven’t one blessed thing to show for my life!” Never Take Love for Granted Do you know the saying, “Drink from your own rain barrel, draw water from your own spring-fed well”? It’s true. Otherwise, you may one day come home and find your barrel empty and your well polluted. Your spring water is for you and you only, not to be passed around among strangers. Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose—don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted!
Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore? For dalliance with a promiscuous stranger? Mark well that God doesn’t miss a move you make; he’s aware of every step you take. The shadow of your sin will overtake you; you’ll find yourself stumbling all over yourself in the dark. Death is the reward of an undisciplined life; your foolish decisions trap you in a dead end. (Proverbs 5 – the Message)
It is so easy to blame women for our sin. If only they would not dress indecently. If only they wouldn’t walk so suggestively. If only they…weren’t in plain sight! But while women do have a responsibility as to how they look (1 Timothy 2:9), we men have a responsibility as to how we look at how they look! There is a difference between noticing and looking. Looking to the point of gawking or flirting, whether in our mind or in our actions, is sinning. Whether married or single, it is a sin. If we are single, then flirting and lusting is a sin against God. If married, the sin increases to include our spouse. In saying “I do,” we make a covenant with (our) eyes. It is not just a pretty phrase to say, “I only have eyes for you.” It is a promise we made.
Advice from the world only leads to the problems of the world.
Questions:
- Husbands and wives, what can you do for each other to lessen temptation?
- Husbands and wives, what can you do for yourselves to lessen temptation?
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