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Numbers 20 – Praying through the Bible #49 – A Prayer from Stress
“I don’t know why I did that, that’s not who I am.” “I don’t know why I said that, that’s not like me.” Stress causes not only regret, but confusion, even questions about self-identity. The question is, “Who are we really? The person who behaves properly or when under duress acts aberrantly?” The answer is….
Setting the scene, Moses is under a siege of emotions. He is (unfairly?) suffering from the sin of others unable to enter Canaan (Nm 14). Miriam has just died (Nm 20.1). While they had their problems (12), like all family members, no doubt Moses loved her. The people are without water again and again quarreling (20.2-3). Nothing new is said to rouse Moses; but that is its own kind of stress; the constant, monotonous nagging.
Setting the right example, Moses and his brother leave the assembly, flee to the Tabernacle and fall down with their face to the ground (20.6). Getting away and going to God are stress relievers. This is where I believe God’s weary servants pray. No words are recorded, but prostrating is a common prayer position. Is there such a thing as a wordless prayer? Have you ever started to pray, wanted to pray, but the words just would not flow? You too entered the presence of God, and just fall down in utter exasperation, in silence, unable to utter your jumbled thoughts. I have been there.
After doing everything right, Moses just looses it. “Listen, you rebels” (20.10); gone is the mediator. “Must we bring water out of this rock for you?” (20.10); gone is the humble man. How can Moses do everything right and then fail? That’s the scary part. That’s the power of stress; and Satan knows how to use our stress against us. Satan is patient waiting on us to lose our patience. Instead of striking the rock (Ex 17.6), God says to speak to the rock (20.8). In disobedience, Moses strikes the rock twice. Amazingly, God gives grace, shows His holiness (20.13), and the water flows. Despite His grace and because of His holiness, God (angrily or sadly?) responds to Moses’ uncharacteristic behavior, “Because you did not trust Me to show My holiness in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this assembly into the land I have given them” (20.12).
Who’s the real Moses? The humble, patient, mediator? The impulsive, disobedient, egocentric? The answer is, yes. God both rewards and punishes the “real” Moses and the real us. Meaning, we need to strengthen the “real” us against the other “real” us.
Prayer Challenge: Know our stress points, and pray not to be lead into temptation. Pray also that after doing everything right, we can make real who we really want to be.
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