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What I Lack to Become an Atheist
What I Lack to Become an Atheist
Have you had a “deconstruction” of your faith which led to a “crisis of faith”, because you tried and failed at rationalizing God? If so, then good. I’m glad you failed. But failure should not lead to “unfaith”, but to a greater awe of God, saying, “holy, holy, holy” (Isaiah 6).
For those who unfortunately had a “deconstruction” leading to atheism and agnosticism, they blame God for not providing answers for their questions.
But before we can blame God and then ultimately deny God (ironic to blame what you deny), we must first completely understand all that God is, all that time is, and how every circumstance connects and affects everything. They would have to become what they deny exists – an omniscient being! That is the only way to blame God for circumstances they can’t understand and accept.
Many theists have concluded, “I don’t have enough faith to be an atheist” (ironic again). I’ve also concluded, I don’t have have enough arrogance to become an atheist and claim I completely understand enough to blame the God I don’t believe in. Atheism often starts by accusing God!
Maybe that is why the first command for the coming kingdom was and is, “Repent, because the kingdom is coming.” I repent because God is holy, holy, holy and beyond my complete comprehension.
In many ways I do have arrogance. It is really insecurity masked to pretend I am something I am not. Maybe that is the same with atheists. Arrogance and insecurity try to rationalize the gospel so that we feel control over not having control. There are just bad things that can’t be explained, and I accept that. I don’t like that, but I accept it.
God is too radical for our intelligence to grasp. Consider loving our enemies which means pursuing with action their good over ours. That’s irrational. That’s the gospel. If you try to rational that, you either fit God into a tiny box you keep in your pocket, or you give up on God. Actually, putting God in a box is giving up on God. Ultimately, I’m not smart enough or arrogant enough to stop believing in God. Ironically, this radical gospel which makes no sense according to the ideals of mankind is the only thing that makes sense, which makes it attractive. Life itself is enough deconstruction for me. I’ll keep believing!
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